It’s hot, the Filipino sun is blazing and I regard the tempting blue of the pool. On account of no one else around I was instructed most definitely, not to venture within during she-who-would-be-obeyd’s absence.  But then, she isn’t here. She will never know. I am taken back to the disobedience of my school days as I weigh the chance of being caught. Can I get away with it? After all your years Tony you should know by now, girls notice everything. I shall have to return the towel to the washing line exactly as it is now, because if not, she’ll spot it instantly. I might have to endure a finger wagging and a scowl. But maybe it’s worth it just to spend an hour in that water…

Will he or won’t he?

We signed up for Internet banking, Daisy and I. My idea her account. We followed up with the intention of doing some on-line shuffling of funds but we could not get into internet banking. We were stymied when we got to the ‘answer-some-personal-questions-for-your-personal-safety-and-security, bit. But, it seemed, we were so damned safe and secure that we couldn’t get on-line to Daisy’s account never mind anyone else’s. The account was quickly blocked – of course.

Now, I have to confess that one of my failings is that while on Salt Spring I omitted to retain Shaun’s counsel regarding superior methods for hacking a bank account. Thus I was reduced to the need to call customer service (which as most wise and experienced folk will know don’t know anything either but are paid to sound sweet and act like they do.) Our cheery Filipino CSR, (I noticed they don’t use Americans or Canadians for this sort of work,) blithely informed me after way too short a time that likely my computer was suffering compatibility problems. It seemed, I was assured, that while I had been silly enough to trade up to windows 10 (while I still had Shaun around) the bank, in its infinite wisdom had not. I should change back to windows 7 or vista immediately I was counseled.

Some days later, yesterday actually after Immigration, (with windows 10 still firmly in place,) we happened by the bank to manually do the aforementioned shuffling but were fortunate to find the dear lady branch manager at her desk, complete with left ring finger weighed down with heavy looking rocks. We had been introduced previously by our new landlord anxious to ensure she would be in receipt of funds and the branch manager had been most helpful and kind. Anyway, she wasn’t having any of this compatibility argument and set about there and then calling anyone and everyone in the Philippines, well, within the ambit of the PNB anyway, to sort out this nonsense. We departed two hours later with everything sorted. No incompatibility after all. Ladies with various degrees of internet skills had been summoned from the depths of the bank and one (with the most secret password of all) instructed to open the vault, so’s to speak, so we could read the challenging questions and the answers that Daisy had given. We then re-entered the answers, severely truncated and once more all was well. It seems that this bank might well ask a long question but would prefer only the shortest of answers.

That pool still beckons….


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