You Don’t Know Anything…YET.
With this article I want to continue on a theme that ran in my last article about TAKING YOUR TIME.
There is so MUCH about living in the Philippines that you just learn when you get here. I spent close to two years reading absolutely everything, watching all the videos from the BIG PLAYERS (Henry, Ned, Bud, Mike) and yet with all of that there are still times when I feel I only scratched the surface of what being here has to offer. There is just so much you will get (especially about yourself)….when you GET HERE.

This leads me to what I want to talk about today; You Don’t Know Anything…YET.. One of the eye opening realizations that happens when you are here for some time is that; YOU REALLY HAVE A CHANCE TO CREATE A NEW LIFE;YOU REALLY CAN LIVE THE LIFE YOU ALWAYS IMAGINED OR, THE LIFE YOU NEVER IMAGINED.
The Philippines for most MEN is that glorious place you get the chance to do it all over again or do what you never dreamed you would do. If you were a terrible Father and all your kids are grown and don’t give a rat’s ass about you, well, you can COME here (pun intended) and be a new father in a matter of time; It is shocking to see so many older westerners in the mall here or Robinson’s Market, two, three, toddlers in tow!
If you have some “money” the Donald Trump Builder you have always imagined  yourself to be, you can become. And because the cost of things is relatively low compared to where most of us come from, you can  build houses and buildings that rival the ones in your own country!
If you were MR NERD (I believe there are MANY of those here) in your own country and you never had lots of pretty girls following you around, hell you never had lots of ugly girls either, but you always dreamed you were a JAMES BOND type of ladies man, then all you have to do is GET OFF THE PLANE IN MANILA OR CEBU; Just think of the person that stamps your passport as your FAIRY GOD- MOTHER because once they stamp it and you step foot in the Philippines, (especially those two places, IMO)  I swear you will feel the fairy dust lightly rest on the top of your head; YOU BECOME AN INSTANT JAMES BOND LADIES MAN OR IN MY CASE AN INSTANT “SHAFT” kind of ladies man (This cat Shaft is a bad mutha, shut your mouth!)
Even those who are gay or a closed cross dresser, (hec you could be, but no judgement from me) HERE you can LIVE IT… OUT!
I HAVE NEVER seen so man gays and cross dressers, lady-boys in my life!  And they are totally at ease and appear to be accepted in a way that is not even seen in the USA, where I am from.
Then there is that other hand. Meaning, For many, (and I’ve talked to them) you may not truly know who you REALLY ARE UNTIL YOU GET HERE AND EXPERIENCE ALL THERE IS!  You never thought in a million years you had a little Evil Kneivel (I just dated myself with that one, google him if you are younger)  in you until you bought your first motorcycle and presto, look what you have become! Or you had no idea there lived inside of you an entrepreneur until you got here, lived a little, decided to take over your friends bar and voilà!
It just does not matter what you THINK your life is going to be because the chances are high that after you get here you will discover you knew NOTHING about yourself!
Case in point: A few months ago I was living on Siquijor Island. I met so many wonderful people there it was amazing. I was there about six months. One night I am in a bar having a drink (so quiet at night) watching YouTube videos on the big screen when a guy strikes up a conversation with me. Along the way he revealed how shocking it was to his friends and family and to himself that he was living on this remote island, But here he was sixty three years old, with beautiful (and I mean beautiful to the core) Filipina wife with three small kids! He was in shocked because he told me when he FIRST had the idea of coming to the Philippines his goal (kids cover your eyes) was to “stick my Johnson into as many beautiful, wet______ as he could find!” (You can feel in the blank. My answer was beaches?)
Anyway, he told me that was ALL he could think of….until he got here. Oh and he was deathly AGAINST MARRIAGE and kids! Went a whole life without them and was not going to change now. For the first few months that is what he did but he was not as fulfilled as he thought. Then while in Bohol he met “HER.”   She was beautiful, sweet, soft spoken, deeply Catholic, no children (you will understand why I make that distinction when you get here) and smart. He said “THAT’S WHEN I DISCOVERED WHO I REALLY WAS AND WHAT I TRULY WANTED! I thought, that I wanted one thing but I found out I have always WANTED HER! Now,SHE wanted marriage. SHE wanted kids. SHE wanted ONE husband for a lifetime. Make a long story short they have been married for 8 years and he said he has never looked back, never wanted another and is happier than ever.
Case #2: A few months ago I was having breakfast in McDonald’s when I said good morning to a guy, who then proceeded to ask me where could he get decent cheese in Dumaguete. (I have since found out it is the infamous “WHY NOT” establishment. Yes, there is the club (not for me) but they also have a FANTASTIC DELI!  Anywho, we got to talking and of course the conversation comes around to where are you from and why did you come to the Philippines
Well, this guy told me his full intention was to come here GET MARRIED. He wanted to find him one woman who loved him and he wanted to raise a family. He had been married twice and they ended horribly but he truly felt he was “made to be married” but could not find the right woman in the the states for what he imagined marriage to be. “Wow, MADE to be married I asked him?”
He went on to say that he probably got that idea from growing up in a home with a strict Presbyterian Minister Father who was the head of some marriage group many years ago. BUT WHEN HE GOT HERE, he said at first he wondered if something was wrong with him.He was meeting all the right kind of women; you know the marriage type, but he never took that next step, he got “cold feet.” (which is a horrible thing to do to a woman in the Philippines, but that is another story) He thought it would “wear off. It’s because it is all new to me”  he thought. Well, he has been in the Philippines for five years (he was new to Dumaguete) and says he is the happiest BACHELOR that ever lived.He told me that when he goes to immigration for renewal and they ask what is the nature of your “visit” to the Philippines he still loves putting down; “PLEASURE!”
This guy has a ton of girlfriends (one came in while we were talking….very flirty)  He said after being here a year he discovered HE REALLY DIDN’T WANT TO BE MARRIED OR HAVE KIDS because he discovered how much he enjoyed HIS FREEDOM and the life he lives now is the life deep down inside he always wanted to live! (Dad turning over in grave I guess)
This is why I say for many; What you think NOW doesn’t Matter! THIS IS THE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTY OF THIS THIRD WORLD (or developing) country experience; YOU CAN DISCOVER THIS PERSON INSIDE OF YOU THAT YOU HAD NO IDEA EVER EXISTED!
But why is that true for so many? Because for many, the limitations are pulled off when you get off that plane! You are limited where you are. You are limited to being politically correct. You are limited to certain type women to interact with.You are limited by ideas and ideals that most likely have to do with how you grew up and you just never truly divorced yourself from them to, as Joseph Campbell said “follow YOUR bliss.” Then you come here and you have an awakening!
So, before you THINK you have it all figured out in the comfort of where you are now,. before you hit those dating sites online and make all of these plans, get here, move here, LIVE HERE. And when you get here whatever you do, DON’T DO WHAT YOU WERE THINKING YOU WOULD DO… because YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING…YET!  Actually what I mean is, you can do it all, but don’t COMMIT to any one lifestyle or way of being….at least not yet.. Don’t commit to ANYTHING IN THE PHILIPPINES…..NOT EVEN A LEASE!  (Only three months if it is a must) Things are always changing because you will discover YOU ARE CHANGING. YOU THINK you may want one thing because that is always what has been offered to you or that is all you were ALLOWED to have, then you get here and you see, HERE, THE SKY REALLY IS THE LIMIT.
Israel Esters.
Israel Esters lives in Sibulan Philippines. Currently creating a new venture that will help foreigners who are moving tot he Philippines. (Can’t say just yet, lol) But if you would like more info or to ask him any questions email him @

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