Finding a Girl in the Philippines Online
Get Ready to be Overwhelmed!
When I first went about finding a girl in the Philippines online, I was absolutely shocked and overwhelmed. I had been pretty much single for a decade or two and had tried all the online dating sites popular in North America from the free Plenty of Fish platform to the pay per use Eharmony and Match.com services. Those North American services were a major disappointment probably more because of the fact that I was just not considerred a “catch” by Western women than the actual services I was using to find a suitable partner. Then that brilliant notion enterred my mind that maybe there was a different reality somewhere out there where women may actually still want a middle aged slightly balding, decent guy.
Well there was, and it blew my mind when I found out that Finding a girl in the Philippines had so much potential.
The site that I used was Filipinocupid.com and the response was nothing short of amazing. I sat down, filled in the profile blanks, wrote a short background of myself and uploaded a few pictures. (real ones of course, lol). I turned off my computer and went about my business not really knowing what to expect. With the Nortn American online dating sites, I had come to expect maybe 2 3 responses a week if I were lucky so imagine my shock when a returned to my computer later that day to something like a few dozen responses to my newly posted profile on FilipinoCupid. And the real shocker? The majority of them came from young very attractive women that I never thought I would have a hope in hell of getting together with in the West.
What to do next? Initially my suspicion was that the majority of these “responses” were something along the lines of what Match.com does where they employ people under probably fake profiles, to pique the interest of new members, but this did not seem to be the case. I picked out the ones that interested me and send back some responding messages. Once the correspondence door was open I found that that there was no “canned” typical responses. The girls appeared to be acting independently, however I quickly noticed that not all was bright and rosy as it seemed.
Weeding out the scams and narrowing down the search of finding a girl in the Philippines online that was right for me.
Over the following weeks it became clear that a good many of the increasing number of women that showed interest in me could be classified in several different groups.
- Fakes and scams – These could be pretty blatant and obvious to any man that was thinking with his right head. The most humorous incidents occured when I would receive messages from multiple profiles with the same pictures of drop dead gorgeous women. When questioned about this the explanations sometimes tended towards the absurd, with such stories as “a friend let me use her pictures because I have none of myself” (lol,, ya right! what are the odds of that in this digital technological age?) What I know today is that there are huge scam organizations designed specifically to earn a profit by separating naive foreign men from their hard earned cash. In a lot of cases I was probably not even corresponding with a woman. ps. Almost got real lucky an would have dated some Filipina movie stars, if the pictures had really been them. My wife now ribs me no end on this one, lol.
- Goldiggers – I believe that in most cases, this term can be considered a little harsh. The majority were honestly looking for a relationship, but that desire was centered upon the financial rather than on a quest for true love. I am of the opinion that a good many of these types were ready to “make a deal” whereby they would provide care and companionship in exchange for financial betterment of themselves and their families. For some men this is actually a decent deal as a good Filipina will enter into this type of arrangement with honor and dedication. For what could be described as monetary “peanuts” in the West, a guy could be waited on hand and foot until the day he dies, and the real kicker is that after a while here in the Philipinnes, I have seen numerous cases where deep love and respect has grown from what were originally a “partnership of convenience”. On the other hand, I have also seen men who have totally screwed this type of relationship up, dishonoring their Filipina partner by sleeping around or being abusive. A word of caution ,,,, a Filipina will get even!!!! . To take this a little further, once I had visited the Philippines, I came to realize quickly how incredibly poor the majority of the people are here and this has certainly softened my moral judgement on these types of women. For them, entering into a relationship with a foreign man, (just about any foreign man) is akin to winning the lottery, however that “win” does not necessarily involve the ability to purchase lavish houses, exotic cars or designer dresses, but more simply the ability to feed, educate and provide adequate medical care to their families. Is that so wrong? I am of the opinion that the answer to that is no, but while it might be an arrangement acceptable to some men, it was not what I was looking for.
- Ladyboys – hmmm,,. lol. These certainly provided comedic interludes in my quest of finding a girl in the Philippines online. Some posted amazing pictures of themselves in drag while others of course had to post fake pictures in order to create the illusion that could pull unsuspecting guys in. Honestly though, I can not fathom what the @#$%$ is up with them. I am not homeophobic, but do they honestly believe that any of us straight guys are going to see them then be so enamored that we decide to change are sexual orientation?? All I can say is thank god for Skype and Live Chat functions. I could just imagine how pissed off I would have been to get off the plane and accept a hug from a beautiful honey I had been corrsponding with for months,only to find that he/she had the same plumbing as me. (think the Crying Game)
- Incredible blow your mind away catches !!! – Once I waded through and deleted all the scammers, fakes, goldiggers and ladyboys, the amazing thing what was there were an amazing amount of Filipina ladies left that were far and away more incredible than anything I could ever hope for or expect to have a chance with in the west.
My Quest of Finding a girl in the Philippines online moves into the next phase
Well here I was with about a dozen possible candidates, and a list that was growing every hour of everyday that my profile was public. The term that immediately always enters my mind when thinking back on it is “like a kid in a candy shop”. I am sure there are some guys out there that have been gifted with being so attractive that they have always been a “chick magnet” and having to beat away the woman, but I don’t count myself so lucky. In my younger days I guess I was pretty lucky in the love game, but certainly never had attained rock star status and the reality is that for the previous decade and half of my life, the pool of girls that I was attracted to whom were attainable by me as a middle aged, middle class balding man with baggage, had dwindled to the point of being mildly depressing at times. The challenge I now faced was how to deal with my new explosion in popularity. My personal choice was to hide my FilioinoCupid.com profile and concentrate on getting to know the Filipinas I had on my “shortlist”. I tried to be honest with those women and at first made it absolutely clear that they were not the only ones, and this honesty actually helped me pare the list down further. Some got insanely jealous to the point of showing true ugliness and this was not something I had any desire to deal with for the rest of my life. They got quickly removed as did those that after a few conversations, there just did not seem to be any chemistry. Within a few weeks I was down to 2-3 girls that I was seriously interested in and then it came time for a choice. Looking back on it with the experience I now have, I would say that maybe this is not something that every guy would or should do, but for me it was something that is second nature. I was looking for a one man woman who believed in total loyalty and to get that, I believed I had to give the same. So I made my choice and continued with the one I seemed to like the most.
The final phase of Finding a girl in the Philippines online, meeting in person.
The problem with making the decision to concentrate on only one woman is online dating is not real dating. What may feel like a connection online does not necessarily translate to in-person chemistry and in my case, like most men who are on a quest finding a girl in the Philippines online, the problem becomes one of distance and cost. When meeting a person online locally, it is not too hard or expensive to just set a time and date,then meet in person to see if there is anything real to pursue , however when a person like me has to take several weeks off work and travel halfway around the globe, it can be a huge and costly waste of time if the online chemistry I thought we had, did not materialize face to face. For me it did not (twice, lol), but I can’t say I have no regrets as what originally was a quest to find love with a Filipina, became a love affair with a country. After a few trips to this wonderful country of island paradises I knew that I wanted to one day live here. A dream was born and it was a dream that I pursued. The third try at finding a girl in the Philippines online was hugely successful. I met her at the airport and we both immediately felt everything we thought we had online. Within two weeks I asked her to marry me and today, 3 short years later, I live happily in this country with my beautiful Filipina wife by my side.
Though I used Filipinocupid.com, there are many other different dating sites and social media pages for men to meet Filipina women. Most are probably viable choices in your quest for finding a girl in the Philippines online and your success will be most like be more dependent on how you use the resources, than the actual resources themselves. I have included a list of links to some of these sites below , as well a some brief suggestions garnered from my own experiences
- Identify what it is you are looking for in a relationship. If you are all right with a “partnership of convenience”, make sure she is too.
- If you are looking for true loyal love, look for the red flags that she is in it for a different reason. If there is ANY requests for money from some one you have never met in person, she should probably be classified as being in either group 1 or 2 above and not in it for the same reason as you.
- Absolutely always use a live chat with video to ensure the person in the profile is the person you are actually corresponding with. this will quickly weed out the scams, fakes and ladyboys
- get used to the fact quickly that you are now entering a reality where as a foreigner, you are actually desirable to the opposite sex. If you are like me, you might have a hard time at first to believe this, but it is true. Once you have your head firmly around this concept, you will quickly understand you don’t need to put up with shit. You now have the freedom to chose what is right for you, without the nagging thought that this woman might be your last best chance to find the woman of your dreams. Believe me, if one girl wants to play games with you, dump her. There are dozens more just dying to take her place! You are a Rock Star!
- Don’t let it your new found Rock Star status go to your head. The Philippines is littered with many souls who have abused this gift so many of us have been given just when we thought there was no hope. Remember that true happiness will not come from the woman beside you, but by your ability to look in the mirror and be happy with the man you are. I believe that the good Filipinas are just looking for a good and decent man. If you stay true to that, you will most likely not only feel good about yourself, but always have that good Filipina by your side.
- Do not fall into the trap of believing that online dating will be the same as meeting in person. contrary to what my path was, it might be a good idea to have a back up plan so that if things do not work out when you meet, your time and money to come to the Philippines will not have been wasted. Ps. – its probably even easier to meet a Filipina once you are here in person than finding a girl in the Philippines online, but I will save that for another article.
Some sites to use if you are going to try finding a girl in the Philippines online
http://www.blossoms.com/af.php
http://www.filipinokisses.com/?aff=IKAF-124
https://www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=915
or try a search for facebook pages – https://www.google.com/search?q=facebook+filipino+dating&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8
Engaged after only two weeks of “in person” dating? You really like to roll the dice, eh? I can’t imagine such craziness. Online dating IS NOT the same as real dating and of course 2 weeks isn’t enough to know much about anybody. Really crazy.
Crazy yes,, but it worked for me John. After 1 year of being engaged, we got got married and after 2 years we are still happily married. After 2 decades of being fiercely independent and extremely picky with the women I had relationships with, my gut instinct told me this was different. After a year of being with her (engaged but unmarried) I knew my gut instinct was right and took the plunge I never thought I would again in my life.
In my days of courting there was no such thing as online dating (Internet). only pen pals friendships where you actually had to write to someone and if fortunate get a reply. That method of courtship certainly separated the rice from the chaff. Mind you I’m talking about life in the early 80’s, not this century. After 34 years and two children the eldest whom is now married and last November presented us with our first Grandchild I can honestly say life has been good. Every relationship has its potential downfalls whether you meet online or face to face. All I would say is take your time and interview the entire family by that time you will not have rushed into anything. Personally I got a gem and she got a rough diamond but with her perseverance with her duster she polished me up and put a shine on me.
Thanks Jim. Great advice. I hope Shirley and I are still good after 34 years,, if I am still alive, lol.
Gord
Great article, I am right in the middle of a cupid site right now and yes it can be quite overwhelming to say the least. I am trying to work through this now myself. Thanks for the insight.