Before I get into this article, let me explain that this is just a fun exercise. My Dad passed away a few years back,( several years after my mother died), and he had never been to the Philipinnes, much less had a relationship with a Filipina. He had what I think was a good relationship with my mom for close to half a century and I believe that though they never showed their love too much to the outside world it was there, and it was deep.
So what got me thinking about this imaginary scenario of my dad in a relationship with a Filipna? Well, a few days back I caught a glimpse of this old guy , a little hunched over and walking with the careful step of the aged. He strikingly resembled my own father in his later years. In tow, was a good looking Filipina, and though she was not one of these twenty something eye candy types, she definitely was attractive and probably in her mid 40s. Also in tow were two young kids. With increasing interest , this article of imagination started to take shape in the back of my mind and I decided to casually watch this family further.
It was obvious that they were in love and just looking at the way they interacted there was no doubt in my mind what I was seeing was spectacular relationship. She doted on him and him on her, and when they were not talking and laughing between themselves, they were playfully interacting with their two kids in a way that made me smile. The next thought that I had was that most likely, this old guy probably had a sons or daughters somewhere not much different than me. As I wondered what they though of their father now, I tried to think about how I would feel if it were my dad.
Well that was an interesting exercise. First off I thought about my dad in the years after my mom died. What would it have been like for him living alone for the first time after spending most of his life as part of a pair. It must have been incredibly lonely for one, but it must have also been difficult adjusting to not having my mother there doing all those little things a wife does that a husband takes for granted. Of course, my parents came from another era where the wife did the cleaning, cooking and laundry. With the risk of offending the feminist that may read this, the truth is that if a guy has not done those things for decades, it cannot be easy to start. So not only must my Dad have been lonely, he must have faced challenges doing some of those everyday tasks that for years he took for granted would magically get done by my mom.
Ok, so now there is my dad, lonely, probably a little depressed and having some difficulty coping with everyday life. At 70 something years of age he probably could never have imagined that there was some women out there that would have considered him a catch and might not only take care of him, but quite possibly love him. Well if only he had known what I do now. That there is a whole country full of decent women who would have jumped at the opportunity to get meet him and more.
Now comes the real fun part of my little imaginary exercise that kind of makes me giggle. I pictured my dad getting on line, putting together a profile on one of the Filipino dating sites, then I imagine how he would have been totally shocked at the interest he received. I picture how he might have spent hours in front of the computer, probably feeling somewhat like a schoolboy all over again. Would he have chosen well or would he have allowed himself to be taken for a ride by one of the many scammers? If he had chosen well and fallen in love again with one of the incredibly good Filipina who would reciprocate that love with care and devotion, what about the other challenges he would have faced? I wonder if his friends and my other sibling would have thought he were nuts and being irresponsible, or whether they would have supported him. I also wonder how I would have felt. Would I have been over protective, or maybe worse resentful that he was might end up with a loving partner, younger than me? Would he have had kids at an advanced age, meaning that at 55 years old I would all of a sudden have another brother or sister?
In the end, I think if any of this had happened, I would have given my dad 100% support and simply been totally happy that this man I loved got what he deserved with a good Filipina. Not his few remaining years spent in loneliness, but living life to the fullest right to the end.