FINDING LOVE WITH A FILIPINA
Its 2 am on a sunday morning here in Dumaguete City and I am up
to check on who is out there , looking to get romance in their life .
As I was getting up out of bed , I glanced at Shirley , asleep and peaceful on the bed beside me . Warm feelings of love enveloped me as I wondered whether she was dreaming of me , lol . I had to sit there on the side of the bed for several long minutes and just look at her and thanked whatever God is out there for putting her in my life . I stroked her hair , gave her several tender kisses on her forehead , and found a moment of complete contentment .
That is the love I have found . The one that has eluded me previously for decades . Miracles do happen .
I might as well go on and post here another short chapter , lol
Last I wrote , I explained how Shirley and I came to the realization that in order to keep the magic in our relationship , we had to actually work at it . So we made a big decision and made a move from the high stress lifestyle we were involved in around Boracay , and relocated to Dumaguete City . This was Shirley’s hometown and like most Filipino families she had a whole army of both close and extended family whom she loved and would give her the support and love back . and okay , I will be honest , Mama made it quite clear that I should bring her little girl home, lol .
For the first few weeks , we really did not do much more than get to know each other all over again . There was good times and bad , but there was no question that the good times were again starting to be more numerous than the bad . without all the other distractions, we could see that there would always be some things that we each did not like in the other , and that instead of one of us trying to change the other , what we would have to do is learn how to accept those things and find our own ways to deal with the frustrations we both sometimes experienced.
That will be an ongoing challenge but how I handle it best is to look at the humour in the situations that piss me off . best example of this is FILIPINO TIME !! lol . Don’t play dumb ! you all know what this is hehee. When I commit to a time to do something , like say 11 am , I mean I will actually be there at 11 am , and probably a little earlier . For Shirley , who is an avid follower of FILIPINO TIME , 11 am means ,,, whenever she happens to be ready ,lol . You know what ? I will never change that in her , so why get frustrated or angry? life will not end because she is late and rather than get upset , I have found other ways to pass the time until she gets there . I will always tease her about it , but I will not let it ruin my day anymore . that is the only control I have over the situation.
Next came the wedding . We had made several dates for it previously , but something always came up . And the problem was not that I could not find the time for the wedding day , but rather the endless red tape and requirements needed to actually get to the wedding day . Standing in lines , and traveling all across the city (and country) to stand in front of bureaucrats who keep telling me I just need one more document , is just not my idea of how to spend a fun day in the Philippines , but Shirley , and her family deserved that commitment from me .
ps. though the marriage seminar felt like the worst 4 hours of my life , the counselor did teach one very important lesson .I tried to sneak out for a walk , but he caught me going down the stairs . I put up a feeble attempt at a defence , explaining to him how foolish it was for me to sit there for hours when he hadn’t said a single word in English so I could understand , but his quick response shut me up . he said, ” sometimes it may be painful , but you have to learn to do those things simply to support your wife . that is your responsibility” I resented the old little guy , but those were words of wisdom !
So , requirements complete , time for the wedding . I would love to tell you all that I gave the women I love a fairy tale wedding , but I am sorry to say that our finances at the time would not allow that . But when it boils right down to it , the commitment we made to each other in front of a judge in a small courtroom with a few of her family members present was the real important thing .
To forever be together , for better or for worse , for richer and for poorer , through sickness and health ,,,
that vow is one I will keep , and I have complete faith that Shirley will too . That is what is important to us ,