Living with a Filipina

Chapter 3

Remebering why I am in Love

Loyalty – a good Filipina‘s unwavering commitment


I awake early, and usually spend a little time these days out on my balcony, listening to the waves and watching the sun come up. The other day, when I came in the door, refreshed and inspired about the possibilities of the coming day and before sitting down in front of my computer, I decided to take a few minutes to climb into bed and lay next to Shirley my filipina wife. As I was stroking her hair, ( c’mon guys, don’t imagine where this is going please and just read on, lol) I could not notice the rise and fall of her chest nor the gentle exhale of her breath. For one short minute a panic overcame me that I have rarely felt in my life. She was of course alive, well and breathing but the thought that crossed my mind instantly was , what would my life be like if she were gone?

That thought was something I hope I never have to face in reality, because honestly, I do not know if I would feel that life was still worth living. This is a scary new thought for me and one that is toally alien to some one, whom I admit, has been fiercly independent for the better part his life and could not comprehend the feelings of something called co-dependency. That thought has crossed my mind several times over the past few days.

I of course will have to look at that growing co-dependency issue at some point , but today in my writing of living with a Filipina, I want to concentrate on something else. I, like many guys here with Filipina partners sometimes get into the habit of complaining about or pointing out the failings of that partner or the relationship. But the thought that is front and center in my mind right now is that those things must be very minor compared to the positives, for me to have such intense fear of losing this woman.

So today, I will concentrate on one of the huge positives. That one is loyalty. Some people like to believe that Filipina women’s interest in older foreigners is simply about the money, but I strongly diagree. In my case, soon after I met  Shirley, I lost everything. My financial well being being tops on that list. For the first year together, We hardly had two pesos to rub together and there were times when having our own roof over or heads or enough food to eat were far from gauranteed. This woman stood beside me through thick and thin, for richer or for poorer, through sickness and health. Never once do I believe did she ever consider leaving me for greener pastures. Yes we fought, and sometimes due to my own insecurites, I was mean or selfish but never did she waver in her loyalty or commitment to me and our relationship. She had repeated our wedding vows and took the commitment seriously. For me that is golden and something that I had been searching for all my life without success, whether in friends, family or a life partner. Honestly I had given up on that concept as a human trait, but now I see it is possible. I am thouroughly convinced that if I want , Shirley will be with me until the day one of us dies. Of that I have no doubts.

So is this loyalty a one in a billion oddity? Personally I think not. From what I have seen, a good many of the Filipinas I have met, exhibit this same charecteristic and so I believe that it is probably part of the Filipina culture. for women. Stand by your man might really mean something here.


Now this post will probably be read by a bunch of guys who have had different experiences with Filipina women, and I will wholeheartilly agree that there are bad Filipinas out there( I met my fair share before Shirley came along). But I will also be blunt and say that most men that have gotten burnt by one of those played an important role in allowing himself to be in that position to get burnt. I know many, many men here that have  relationships with Filipina women that will stand beside them just like Shirley has with me. A good Filipina, and there are many out there, will always be there for her man. A concept that I just have not witnessed with Western women.


The Complete Living with a Filipina Series