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As an expat in the Philippines I am now part of a society in which for better or worse, I stand out and am highly visible. This is an ironic twist for me as for the first several decades of my life I desperately strove to be in such a position.
Growing up, I have to admit I was on the insecure side. I was never the guy that garnered a lot of attention from the girls nor was I held in great esteem by my peers who gathered around amazed at my wit, laugh at my jokes or be in awe of my abilities and accomplishments. For the most part I was just one of a faceless crowd that I felt I had to work hard to impress and show my relevance in the world in. In my late teens and early twenties I resorted to drink, outlandish behavior and extravagant spending to set me apart from the crowd and counterbalance my shyness and insecurity.

Don’t Get Involved! A Filipino Mentality that differs wildly from what I am used to This Filipino mentality showed it ugly side recently here in Dumaguete. There was a very sad and unfortunate incident that has made me remember something my wife has tried repeatedly to convince me of. Out of respect for the family […]

Having Kids as an Older Expat Should I, Should I not? Having kids as an older expat in the Philippines is something that just about all expats will have to think about. The reality is that most expats who have come to live in the Philippines will  end up with a wife or significant other […]

Filipino Mentality – Chapter 2 “Crabs in a Bucket” or, “Me First” “Crab mentality, sometimes referred to as crabs in the bucket, is a way of thinking best described by the phrase, “if I can’t have it, neither can you.”The metaphor refers to a bucket or pot of crabs. Individually, the crabs could easily escape […]

Starting My Philippines Life Over What I Would Do Differently Here I am, 5 years down the road in my Philippines life, thinking back to how I behaved during my first year or two and wondering how I would do things differently if I was just arriving in the country now. It’s not that I […]

Filipino Mentality Chapter 1 – Focusing on today vs Looking at the “Big Picture” I, like most westerners I know, tend towards being a “planner”. That seems to involve most aspects of my life from financial matters to vacations or even the meals that I have, and sometimes I notice that this need to plan […]

Here’s a quick break down of 5 questions any first time traveler should be asking. Question: I think Filipinas look beautiful and I want to find a relationship in the Philippines. There are lots of people in the dating sites from the Philippines but I want to meet someone face to face first. Can I […]

Filipino Mentality How my Thinking Differs – Introduction When I first decided to get involved with a Filipina, then again when I decided to live with her in the Philippines, I was certainly very naive in many respects. My initial belief was that the biggest problems I would face were going to be related to […]

So you’ve found a beautiful girl and she ticks all the right boxes for you. You’ve started seeing each other and things are absolutely great. How do you know if she’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? Well the short answer is you wait and see but that’s not […]

LIVING WITH A FILIPINA Chapter 5 Her perspective of Living with a foreigner will remain a mystery for now So it has been several weeks now of gentle reminders to Shirley that she should start her series of articles and the truth came out today, lol. She just doesn’t want to do it. Though I […]